According to the International Mineral Association, as of November of last year there were 5,863 known and approved named species of minerals. I originally wrote an article similar to this one years ago. With the proliferation of x-ray spectrometers, there have been over 2000 new species discovered since that time. I thought perhaps we should revisit the subject, and I finally got around tuite.
A mineral is a naturally occurring inorganic substance having a unique chemistry and crystal structure. In the old days, as we advanced scientifically whereby we had discovered enough elements that we could determine chemistry, minerals with known names were tested. Soon enough, it was discovered that things called rubies were the same as things called sapphires, both being the mineral corundum, and other things called rubies were not rubies at all, spinel being one of the first impostors discovered. As techniques improved, scientist started discovering minerals that had no name, and the race was on.
At first, minerals were commonly named for their discoverer or the place where they were first found, which is known as the type locality. For instance, there are now eight species named after a bob, two of whom I have actually met! There is no doubt who alicewilsonite was named after. Amazingly, there are actually two alicewilsonites. One is called (YCe) and has cerium in it and the other is (YLa) where the cerium is replaced by lanthanum. Some minerals were named for famous mineralogist or scientist by their discoverers. jahnsite was named in honor of Richard Henry Jahns. There are now no less than twelve jahnsites of slightly varying chemical compositions. As examples of place names, the minerals antarcticite, saltonseaite, and scotlandite need no explanation.
Eventually, the science improved to the point that chemistry became of common use in mineral names, as in the jahnsite and alicewilsonite examples above, and that is when things started getting a little strange. However, there are still plenty of older names out there to appreciate. So please firmly insert your tongue in your cheek and let us begin, because in the mineral world, there is wrightite, but no “wrongite”.
The first mineral on the list alphabetically is abellaite. The last is zýkaite. The shortest mineral name is a tie between tin and ice. The longest mineral name is potassic-magnesio-fluoro-arfvedsonite. The shortest mineral name that you can’t pronounce is tvalchrelidzeite.
Some minerals were named after animals, beaverite and muskoxite among them. If you’re out rock collecting on a sunny day, you might see a lizardite. But if you tell someone, be prepared because they might want to know if it was a bluelizardite or a greenlizardite!
If you are out in the woods at night, you might hear a wolfeite howlite. If you are building a woodhouseite, your axinite is great for chopinite, but you might need to borrow a hammarite from your neighborite, who will probably tell you that it’s better to boltwoodite, especially if it’s greenwoodite. He might want to borrow your suzukiite one day, but only if it has fourweilite drive. If you don’t want him to use it, you can always tell him the axelite is brochantite.
If you’re proudite to be your dadsonite, don’t sassite him or you might be singing tenorite. You might think you need aplowite to plant your seidite, but since there is no gardenite in the valleyite, just put it in some pottsite.
Adamite got thrown out of the Garden of Edenite because of his apatite. Someday you might wadeite in stillwaterite under a rockbridgeite, but is it a branchite or a brookite you’re in? If your limousinite is on a boat, they will likely tie up with a ferriwinchite before they let you drive offretite. Your fleetite is under cannonite fire, what do you do? Forget the whitecapsite, pull up your ankerite! If you can’t escape in the foggite using the northstarite, you might have to raise the white flaggite or meet your tombstoneite! If you get captured, they may feed you oldhamite, and then you’ll have a bunch of ilmenite on your hands. Better hopeite there’s a curite!
So is grossite so ugly there’s not a museumite that will take it any mourite? If the wind blows your hat off, you might be derbylite. Better go say heyite to your barberiite so he can brushite your hair.
So all this has been about minerals that there are. What about minerals that there should be?
Well, there is keyite, but no “lockite” to put it in. Similarly, there is corkite but no “bottleite” to put it in. There are overite 17 minerals that start with “oxy”, but none that end in “moronite”. There is navajoite and cherokeeite, but no “indiansinsite” at all!?! There are 16 minerals that start with “pseudo” but no “psuedonymite”!?! Come on people, let’s playfairite and get those names on the list!
Well, I hope you understand that this is just a small sampleite of me being a sillimanite. I hopeite that you could laffittite some of it. If not, iron’t you gladite it’s overite? Wenkite, wenkite!